Whats in it for me?

Life has started to stagnate to point where I think its going sour. Taking photos is something I force myself to do now rather than enjoy. This world I have surrounded myself with does nothing but suck out my life and creativity, pulling me down into a pit I cannot climb out of. I don't think I'm bored of photography, I think the situation I find myself in has made me devoid of any enjoyment and that extends to even my great loves, photography.

On the up side I have been going to my local airsoft site more now. This is something I loved for years and fell away from when it became to expensive for me to continue. I feel guilty even having this one thing that bring me joy though. It seems than anything I enjoy eventually is taken from me because I don't deserve it. Do you know what it feels like to be a prisoner in your own mind? Anyway, back to airsoft. Ive been shooting some games in between playing. Im still getting to grips with it but at least im having a bit of fun with it.

Like a phoenix

I had intended to update this blog more often, after I made the first post I quickly regretted it. Round about a month or two ago I hit a serious bout of what I can only describe as photodepression. I almost listed all my gear for sale, and with Christmas coming up it was certainly tempting. Feeling like that made me hate the photos I was taking and it was getting me down so much it had started to effect almost all aspects of my life.

Last week a friend of mine contacted me to ask if I would get rid of my Canon 7D, instead of offering to buy it he offered me a trade for his Fujifilm X-Pro 1 and 18mm lens. I bit his hand off. Being in a lousy mood wasn't going to stop me grabbing a camera I have wanted for ages. The next day I picked it up and like the phoenix I came back to life.

For the past week the X-Pro 1 has not left my side. It feels like I have fallen in love with photography all over again. The joy I find when shooting with this camera is much the same as when I shoot with my 35mm range finders but with the convenience of digital storage and editing (not that I feel the images that come out this camera really need editing!)

I'll end this post with some shots I have taken with the X-Pro 1:

That awkward first post.

I'm just a normal guy living a normal life. I'm trying to be a photographer, wish me luck. There are more people now taking up photography than ever before and you either need to completely different or just damn lucky to get noticed. I guess that's why I'm starting this blog , to document why shortcomings and failures as I struggle to get noticed.

With the pessimistic intro out the way I guess I should start with who I am. I'm a 21 year old living on the West Coast of Scotland. About three years ago I started to take a keen interest in photography as my dreams of being a musician had started to fail. My main hobby at the time was airsoft , for those of you who don't know it's similar to paintball. I began my venture into photography by taking pictures of my guns and other kit. To my amazement people liked it, so much so an online magazine approached me to take photos for them. I was hooked. The deal with the magazine was short lived but it has gave me a taste of something new , something I lusted for. Ever since then I haven't had any breaks but lets hope this blog gives me focus I need to make a change.

I guess this will have to do for now but I'll leave you all with this picture. It's my Dad, one of the biggest influences in my life. He taught me to care and help others and be who I want to be.

Note: my dad is not the dog.